This is sorta what I said at the party

I want to thank everyone for coming tonight- it really means a lot to see you all- that you would take the time to make this event a priority. The reason I wanted to have this party is because I wanted to invite all my friends into this jou-hair-ney with me- I wanted to invite you into baldness with me. Now, you don’t have to be bald to BE with me. I invited you here because you have touched my life in a significant way.

I’m not mad about losing my hair- you would think I might be. I’ve been sad- because it’s a loss- but not mad. I attribute that to my faith- and my belief in a God who gives me a peace during this time that surpasses all understanding!

As I look out and see the familiar faces- I am happy and amazed and so blessed to count you as friends.  You are all gifts that I have done nothing to deserve.

 I have a friend who hates the word intimacy. I can sorta see why she doesn't like it. It can be used in a way that is cliche-ish. Maybe it's too vague. If I say I want "more intimacy" in my marriage, what does that really mean? I've heard a definition of intimacy that I liked and thought was clever: in-to-me-see. That's what I want. That is why I invited you here. I want to be known. And I want to know you too. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hiding away because I don’t have hair. I want freedom. I need good people around me- to walk with me- because I know I will be sad sometimes that I don’t have hair. I know I will be sad if my eyebrows and eyelashes fall out. I don’t want to live in the sadness. I want my friends to laugh with me- and tell me bald jokes- and straighten my wig if it gets crooked- and remind me not to wear synthetic hair while I’m cooking. (Heat and synthetic hair don’t mix). And please let me know if I’m looking too wiggy.

I have some bad news. I already shaved my head. I did it because I was a little worried that I might get all freaked out- and I didn’t want to start crying and cause you to feel sorry for me when I am trying so hard to celebrate and not be sad. I didn’t want this night to be sad. The crazy and wonderful thing is- I wasn’t sad when Tad shaved my head. I wasn’t relieved either…I wasn’t…anything. To me, that means my hair or losing my hair, doesn’t have as much power over me as I thought it did.  I am thankful to know that.



the big reveal



So, I am still committed to freedom and intimacy…