Party On

My head shaving party is this Friday, May 6th, 2011. I am excited and a little nervous. I originally wanted to throw the party because I want to celebrate this new phase of my life with my friends. I still want that- but it's turning into more than that as the day draws near. See, I started worrying that I would not handle shaving my head in front of a lot of people very well...I didn't want to freak out and start crying and ruin the good party time. I asked Tad if he would shave my head early- so I could get used to the idea of being bald- and maybe get a little sun on my never exposed pasty white scalp.

So, my friends, I have already shaved my head. After it was done, I didn't cry- I wasn't sad...I wasn't...anything. There wasn't a huge sigh of relief or huge weight lifted off my shoulders (there wasn't that much hair left anyway. heehee.) I realized that I was giving my hair and the thought of losing it all- a whole lot of power over me. Now that it's done, I do feel some freedom. I know there is room for more freedom- and that is why I wanted to have a party. I want to invite all my friends into this experience of baldness with me.



Bald and beautiful? How can you tell?

 I have a friend who hates the word intimacy. I can sorta see why she doesn't like it. It can be used in a way that is cliche-ish. Maybe it's too vague. If I say I want "more intimacy" in my marriage, what does that really mean? I've heard a definition of intimacy that I liked and thought was clever: in-to-me-see. That's what I want. I want to be known. If I want to be close to God, then I've been told and I believe, that I have to start building closeness and intimacy in my relationships with people. Why would I want to spend my life hiding anyway? If things are hard, why would I want to go through it/them/whatever alone? This is why I am having a party.

I love my friends. Every person I invited has touched my life in some way- and I want to say thank you for your friendship. And for the new friends I haven't known very long, there is a light in you that I am attracted to. I am eager to know you. I want good people around me as I walk through this jou-hair-ney. I want freedom for me and for you. I want to know you too. Bald is beautiful...I am discovering. I am still Amy. I just don't have as much human hair as I used to. I may look different every time you see me. I will be sad about my hair-or lack of it sometimes. I will be sad if my eyebrows and eyelashes fall out. I don't want to live in sadness though. I want light, joy, and freedom. I want freedom to go out without a wig or a hat or a scarf. I want to move past the newness and excitement of new wigs and bald heads.

Here are a few pics of the process:



last day for pig buns





back side of pig buns



what can I say about this?



first round with the scissors. Tad should not be a barber.



second round with the scissors




clippers with no guard




top view after the clippers. that is classic alopecia areata.